


I Should Have Been There

by OnceUponAPemberlyDream



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, may pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 11:12:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2022981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceUponAPemberlyDream/pseuds/OnceUponAPemberlyDream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Drabble about May when she heard Coulson had died.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Should Have Been There

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RobinsGirlWonder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinsGirlWonder/gifts).



_I was supposed to be on that helicarrier._ The words echoed through her head, barely drowning out the voices floating through her ear pierce. She’d been out of the game for so long that she had grown comfortable, watching from the sidelines so she found some excuse to be far away from the action. He had understood; he always did. She watched him walk away. She had watched him _walk away_ and didn’t even say _goodbye_. She thought it could wait. Even after all this time, in this field, she knew better than to leave anything that needed to be said unspoken with anyone… anyone but him. The person who understood without speaking every time and she didn’t take any of the chances to say the one thing she really needed to say out loud.

_I was supposed to be there._ She had always been able to keep a straight face growing up; but, being on this job, she’d seen a lot, grew harder until she felt like one of the pieces on display on the museums she used to visit when she spent her days out of the field. She watched everyone else break a bit, holding her face still. Every loss, every thing that had been taken from her had taught her how to stay stone faced. He saw past it though; he knew about how it cut a piece of her away from her heart. They were her friends, her charges. All lost in battles that she always thought she should have prevented, stopped before it was too late… This was another mark on the wall of her hollowed heart.

_I was supposed to be with him_. She closed her eyes as she turned away from the rest of the people in the control room as they all started to look around, trying to figure out how to process the news. _The Calvary_. She hated that name; her heart stopped every time she heard it. He was the only one who she had ever told why she hated it. It wasn’t the pressure of being as good as an entire team of agents. It was a reminder of all of those people whose blood she carried on her hands. Now, now she carried his… _I should have been there. I should have been there._ Her chest started to hurt and her vision started to blur as she bolted out of the room. _I should have been with him in the end._


End file.
